In today’s relationship-driven mortgage and business world, success hinges not just on what you know, but how you connect. In this episode of Lykken on Lending, David Lykken sits down with communication and networking expert Patti DeNucci, author of The Intentional Networker and More Than Just Talk. Patti shares her powerful insights on preparing for meaningful conversations, navigating networking events with confidence (whether you’re an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert), and cultivating authentic connections that drive both personal fulfillment and professional growth. If you’re ready to move beyond small talk and start building relationships that truly matter, this episode is a must-listen.
[David] Welcome to another podcast of the Lykken on Lending. This is a special episode talking about communicating. How do we communicate effectively? That’s what our business is all about. We’re a relationship business and we have a relationship communication expert joining us. Patti DeNucci is here. She’s a corporate and conference presenter, a workshop facilitator, a coach, a consultant who works with smart professionals. That’s important. There’s some professionals that you go, not too sure we can’t help, like they say stupid is as stupid does. Well, can’t do much with helping to them, but she really works with those smart people. So if you consider yourself a smart person, you’re going to want to listen to this and then also consider working with Patti, as she really helps you on your communication. There’s also she’s the author of two award-winning books. The one, the first one that’s out there, is the Intentional Networker. That’s a good one. How do you do that intentionally? We’re going to get into understanding a little bit more. And then also More Than Just Talk, the essential guide for anyone who wants to enjoy better conversations, and that’s how it should be. When we’re out there meeting with people, we go I’m selling, no, you’re having a conversation. How do you do that more effectively? She lives in Austin, Texas. I know her and Mark, her significant other, and I just think the world of these two people. I delight in them and we share some things in common that I’m just excited about, one of which is the topic communication. Patti, good to have you on the podcast.
[Patti] Well, thank you, Dave, it’s really fun to be here.
[David] Yeah, well, I mean I listed several of your podcasts. Well, first of all, we met and at our one of our favorite places, and then we got to know each other. So many people told me that I need to meet you, Patti, because you are an expert in communication. They know I have a successful podcast and they say, Dave, you do a great job with your podcast, but we could all do better. And she is so effective and I think the two of you would network really well, and so I’m really excited, Patti, to have you join and share your knowledge, wisdom and what you’ve learned with our audience. Let’s start a little bit with a background on you. How did you get to where you’re at? Tell us about you and your journey.
[Patti] Oh my. Well, you know I think it started when I was a kid. I grew up in a little town in northern Minnesota. My dad and my grandfather were the local Chevy dealers. They had a little dealership in this little town and everything they did was about relationships. And so I just grew up watching two of the best at work treating everybody with great respect, being friendly. I mean, my dad would go out for coffee a couple times a day. And when I was in high school and college and worked down at the dealership, learning all kinds of things about work and business and people, I’d think to myself why is dad never here? And he had the business running smoothly. He just was able to go out into the community, go up and talk to the local newspaper editor, and you know, he just was out and about. And then, in contrast, my mother was more of an introvert but she was super gracious and very selective about who she had as a friend and where she socialized, but gracious and kind to everybody. And people still speak so kindly about my parents. So it started there and then I just worked my way into a communications career that involved PR, publicity. I had a freelance talent agency for a while. So I had to go out and network a lot to create business for them and I noticed a lot of people doing that really badly and so inauthentically and just in a way that I don’t think works. So that was what prompted me to start writing about this and speaking and doing workshops about it too.
[David] Well, I mean, I’ve got your two books right here, folks, and we’re going to put links to those books. You’ve got to get these. This is more than just talk. Just captured me on the, just as I opened the cover, I go and started getting so much great information about it. As a fellow Minnesotan, it’s good to know someone who is. I grew up in Minnesota in a similar situation. My dad owned a farm equipment business, so it wasn’t a cool thing like a car dealership.
[Patti] Oh, that sounds very similar to me.
[David] They are, our parents had in common was my dad also did the coffee thing and he says you don’t make money sitting behind a desk in your office. You don’t make money as a loan officer sitting behind your desk. It’s out there when we get in person with people and communicating with people and if you hit on a key word, you watch your dad do it authentically. What does that mean to you? intentionally and authentically.
[Patti] Well, authentically means you are who you are, and that’s one of my big things before I get on a podcast is I sit and I try to remember who is Patti, as opposed to, you know, being somebody else suddenly, because I’m on a more public platform, this is me and I just I feel like he was his true. He was his true self, as was my grandfather, and you know we can talk a little bit later about the importance of knowing your social personality so that you can be true to yourself and honor yourself and the energy that either you’re depleting or that you’re gaining from people. So that was a big one, but I think he just he believed in the golden rule treat other people like you want to be treated. That was a big one.
[David] It’s very, very, very true when you were starting to write your book. They’re based on some basic concepts. Would you share what you are talking about when you talk about networking and conversation and communicating well?
[Patti] Knowing yourself, that’s a huge one. Knowing what you want to accomplish, you know you can be purposeful, whether it’s a networking conversation or a social conversation or a random conversation. What do you want from your conversations? what are you trying to do? If it’s your business, what are you trying to build? Who are you trying to attract as customers, as referral service, as referral sources, strategic partners, suppliers, getting in? That’s where the intentional piece came in, and I love that when I wrote the Intentional Networker and people started reading it, they said Patti, I’m on chapter three and I haven’t gotten any tips about how to network yet. And it’s because laying the groundwork is really important. And then the third step is part of what we just talked about showing up in alignment with who you are and what you want. That is the piece that’s missing. I’ve had so many networking conversations over the years where I’d ask people so you know what brought you here today, what are some of your big goals and what’s your vision for your business or your life, and people don’t often have the answers.
[David] That can create an awkward moment, because when you’re asking someone, you know what you’re about. Anyone that has that, and then you’ll meet with someone that creates that awkward moment. How do you, how do you handle that?
[Patti] I tell people to prepare, to prepare, and it doesn’t mean you have to read 17 books about networking. You don’t even have to read my books If you don’t want to. If you want to, that would be great, it would be helpful. But do a little preparation. I was in a room full of top-level salespeople giving a presentation and I asked them how many of you prepared? It was a conference scenario how many of you did any preparation for this conference? You know, like, what kind of networking do you want to do? How do you want to? How do you want to meet people? What works for you, what doesn’t? What are you trying to accomplish? And I think two people raised their hands out of several hundred and I said this is, this is the issue. Is we think we’re just going to wing it, which some people can do, people like you and I can do it because we’ve had a lot of practice, so we really know what we want. But a lot of people haven’t done any preparation and that’s why it’s so hard and why it’s so awkward and they don’t know what to say and they don’t know what to ask.
[David] Well, and I think when those moments when you ask someone, that’s an opportunity. If they’re looking at you like you know what, that’s a great question and what they’re basically saying I’m not sure I know, well, then it creates a great opportunity to start asking questions about them getting into it. And you talk about that in the book the Intentional Networker, about how to be intentional, about asking and drawing it out, and I think those moments when we make it about the other person, you’re already way ahead as you talk about in your books and making a meaningful connection and starting a conversation about them.
[Patti] Yes, so when we start doing that. You talk about that in a book. Give us some more tips in that area of when you can help someone discover themselves. How do you do that?
[Patti] Great questions. You know having some great questions and you know the back section.
[David] That’s the preparation part. So, anticipating it, there’s probably 2% of the people maybe even have an idea who they are, what they’re about. Some may think they do, but I think having you preparing with the questions when you go in is what you’re saying, right?
[Patti] Yeah, and there’s a couple ways to do this. I have a little bit of journalistic experience from college and from my professional career and so I think like a journalist. I think about how can I get the story out of somebody without being too snoopy. You don’t want to cross that line and suddenly it gets really weird and awkward. But I try to think of questions that will give me the story behind a person. Like it may be something like tell me about a teacher or an adult in your life when you were young that had a great impact on you, and that’s a great question to ask of anybody. Some people say, well, I don’t know. And then you know the conversation stalls out again, which means we all have to have the responsibility of coming up with some sort of answers. But you know, you said an important thing. Make it about the other person. I have a rule about listening. Actually it’s not my rule, it’s a standard rule in the business etiquette world, where you’re supposed to be listening more than half the time and they say 60% of the time in a one-on-one and most of us don’t do that. We end up talking.
[David] For an introvert. An introvert loves doing that because they can hide behind the question. But the question is, are they really listening? But for those of us who are that outgoing sanguine personality type, we have a tendency to struggle with that 60-40 split.
[Patti] We do, and sometimes we ask questions and we don’t wait for the answers because we’ve jumped in again.
[David] I’ve listened to a few of my podcasts. I can tell.
[Patti] Well, and there’s a reason for that. Talking is, if I can just indulge the audience for a minute. Talking is expressive. It allows us to just say what we’re thinking, and some of us, you know, I have to be careful sometimes I have to make sure I’m thinking before I talk rather than talking before I think. But it’s expressive, it feels good. We get a little bit of oxytocin when we hear that other people are leaning in and listening, whereas listening means you have what’s going on in your head, plus now you’re adding what’s going on in somebody else’s what they’re saying and you’re processing twice as much, and then you’re thinking about what you’re going to say in response. So that’s hard and it’s okay that we acknowledge that it’s hard and it’s okay that we don’t do this properly. But say you’re talking in a group full of four people, you’re sitting at lunch, there’s four people around the table. I’ve often noticed that one person ends up doing all the talking and sort of holding court while everybody else is listening. And technically, we should each be talking 25% of the time and listening 75% of the time, which is hard. So you know, to review. I mean, it is about the other person and listening is huge. Asking a question and then listen to the answer for crying out loud.
[David] I think some of the most meaningful conversations I’ve had is when I’ve been inquisitively asking like a journalist and drawing out and understanding and getting in the story. That’s how you and I really got into meaningful.
[Patti] Yeah.
[David] I just started asking questions and it was really fun to talk to you about that and to get into understanding you and Mark’s story store your husband a story is just amazing yeah mark is what he does in the technology world.
[Patti] He’s pretty cool and, plus, I can take him anywhere. I can take him anywhere and he he’s a great social. It’s nice to have a partner who has, you know, pretty good social skills and he’s learned a little from me, of course, but he was always. He was always really good at it, yeah.
[David] Yeah, so let’s, let’s go into a typical networking event. You talk about preparation’s important. Then, for the people that don’t have the confidence, you might say they’re introverted sometimes and you introduced to me a term I had never heard before, I’ve mentioned now to others and they go. Oh yeah, it’s an ambivert and that’s what I am. There’s the extrovert that just loves being with people all the time. The introvert we know what they are. They just don’t want to go into their hotel room and stay there and not talk to anybody. But the ambivert is someone who goes out and wants to talk to someone until they don’t talk. So what on the three personality types? walk us through, when someone is walking into an event, how should they prepare and speak to all three groups? If you could.
[Patti] Well, first of all, I have to say that if you want to find out what your social personality is, get online and just do the online version of the Myers Briggs. That’s the name of the profile. I’m an introvert, also right down the middle, and I also have to say that just introversion and shyness are different. So it’s all of that.
[David] Ah, okay, expand on that a little bit.
[Patti] Introversion and shyness are different. An introvert gets energy from their alone time. Someone who’s shy has difficulty in social situations. They may like people, they might like being around people, but they’re having trouble with social like. What do I do? What do I say? You can fix that. You can fix shyness. You can fix social awkwardness when people tell me oh, I’m socially awkward and that’s the end of the story. It’s not the end of the story. You can fix that. You just have to work at it. Once you’re an introvert, you’re always an introvert. Extroversion means you get your energy from being with people. Introversion your energy comes from being alone. People like you and me, David. We’re both ambiverts, so we vacillate back and forth, which I don’t know if you find that to be tricky sometimes. But I can be in a social situation and suddenly I can tell my battery is draining and it might be because of the conversation I’m having or the person I’m talking to, or it just might be me. It could be it might be that I need to go get something to eat or take a nap. I have to honor that and, you know, go spend some time on my own. And that was huge for me when I learned I was an ambivert. My life changed. I didn’t feel like how come I like to be with people sometimes and how come sometimes I don’t?
[David] Yeah, you can almost feel like you’re manic.
[Patti] Yeah, what’s wrong with me and a lot of us are ambiverts to some degree. I am right down the middle. I don’t know if you’re right down the middle too, but I think that’s what allows us to be successful is we both love people and we love to get to work on whatever we’re working on or we like to recharge. So yeah, but you want me to talk about how to deal with that in social situations. Do you want me to?
[David] That’s where I want to go In the networking. How do we, how does someone take that into the networking session, and intentionally, because, let’s say, they’re a loan officer. They may be more of an introvert or a shy person. They need to press that. How do they do that.
[Patti] Preparation is definitely one thing, having those questions, getting your doing things beforehand that energize you, making sure you’re getting enough sleep. I think it’s awful that that we work all day long with people and then someone says, well, you have to go to this networking thing. Like, I’ve been with people all day and it’s not necessarily been fun, and now you want me to go have fun with people. So I think sometimes the timing of a networking event I mean, if you’re not an evening person, go to a breakfast event or a lunch event or you know, go to one on, go to a one-on-one coffee rather than a group event. I’m learning and it’s changed over the years. You know, when I was raising my son, I didn’t do happy hours because we were off at a soccer practice, so I did lunch, a lot of lunches and a lot of coffees. I am I don’t know if you’re familiar with the Metropolitan Breakfast Club in Austin, which has been around for a really long time. I know a lot of great people that go there. They meet really early in the morning and I’m not doing that. So not all networking situations are created equal. So if you don’t like the big crowds, don’t do the big crowd things Do something smaller. You can still call up one of your clients or potential clients and say let’s go have coffee, let’s just get to know each other.
[David] So when you’re in a networking situation, you don’t necessarily have to do what. If it’s a conference, you could go out there and participate. But try to find the means by which you have most effective communication.
[Patti] That’s right. I mean you bring up conferences, which is great. I have had some very valuable conversations and connections with people standing in line for coffee in the hallway when everybody else is in a session, and I ended up being out in the hallway because I just, you know, I was tired, I wasn’t resonating with the speaker, I just I’m just gonna go sit out in the hallway and someone came by and we sat down and ended up having a very meaningful conversation. I don’t stay up late to do the big, hang out at the bar thing. I often get up early and do the gym and breakfast and coffee and, honestly, that’s where all the movers and shakers are, I think.
[David] I can’t think of a way to balance significant networking in the gym while I’m on the treadmill or in between lifting weights or whatever. Yeah.
[Patti] So do it your way. And a great thing you can do is if you have people you work with or connections that you know who have a similar persona that you have, ask them how they do it. There is an article in the Austin American-Statesman a few years ago about how to do South by Southwest, and it was a nonstop get up at 7, go, go, go, go, go. Book all your coffees, book all your lunches, stay up till midnight, blah, blah, blah, and I thought this is exhausting and it’s terrible advice for someone who’s more of an introvert or an ambivert. So honor who you are, figure out what you want to accomplish and then do it your way. Do your networking, whether it’s a conference or everyday life. Do your networking your way. It’ll be far more effective.
[David] I mean, we could go on about this. There’s so many tips and we may get. Hopefully, some of our listeners will reach out to you because they’re going to a conference. It’d be great to have a conversation with you or to pick up your book. Let’s start with your first book, the Intentional Networker, came out in 2011 and if you could give us a quick recap of that book, kind of give what was the motivation for writing it? When someone opens that up, what can they expect?
[Patti] Well, I’ll be really honest and say I started writing it in 2008 when the economy crashed. So you know, if you have a book in, you just wait till the economy crashes and then you can have time to write it, or a pandemic shows up that’s always a good time to focus on something different shows up. I originally started writing the Intentional Networker as a guide for me 20 years before. All the things I wish I’d known it was really more for the solopreneur female and then my writing coach and I kept working on this and she said, Patti, this is really about networking. Networking has been, and you and I know this from our experience with our dads networking is what builds the business. I mean, anytime you look at someone who’s successful, they’ve always done it because of their connections. So we both had this. My coach and I had this aha moment. This is really about networking. And so we just continued on from there and people told me it was just different. It was a refreshing way to look at networking. It was more holistic, more it wasn’t assuming that the reader was an extrovert, which I think is how a lot of books come across, or they’re written by extroverts and they don’t understand what an introvert is like. And I want to go back just a little bit to you said about networking with different social personalities. I think it’s a really good thing to do, to be aware of when you’re having a conversation with someone, even if you need to ask them be aware of what their social personality is.
[David] Is it appropriate to ask that question or create an awareness, or is that something you should try to discern in the midst of the conversation?
[Patti] I think it’s possible to do both. I think if you’re really in tune with people, you can pick up on it. But I think if you’re in a network-y type situation you can say you know, I’m just curious. I find that I discovered I’m an ambivert, which means that I, you know, you can kind of talk about yourself first for a few minutes and then like what do you think you are to the other person? And you know they may not know or they may know for sure, and then that’s something to talk about. But I find that if I’m around high extroverts too much, I get exhausted and I wish they would understand that I am. My wish I had a thing that showed on. My battery is just going, suddenly turns red.
[David] They will look at your forehead and say oh, your battery’s low, yeah
[Patti] Well and I’m sure you’ve also run into this is sort of an oxymoron. It is the chatty introvert which is interesting. It’s interesting. Like I have some chatty introvert friends where if I book a phone conversation like hey, let’s just get caught up on the phone, I have to book at least an hour and I’ll hardly get to say anything.
[David] And that’s an introvert.
[Patti] Yeah, a chatty introvert may release their tension by just talking and never stopping.
[David] Interesting.
[Patti] Yeah.
[David] That’s really interesting. On the intentional networker, what are some key points? I really want people to get this book, and so lay out a couple of key points that you bring out in your book.
[Patti] Okay, Well, you know, I said the first three chapters were about getting to know yourself. Number two is getting to know what you want. Number three is showing up according to that person. But I also talk about the importance of quality over quantity, meaning you don’t have to go to 16 different networking things each week or month or whatever you think your pace is. Pick one or two that really work for you and experiment a little and find the ones where it’s like these are the people I enjoy meeting, these are the people I need to be meeting and these are the people that know people that I would enjoy or need to meet. So, you know, come up with some sort of criteria. You know, at this stage in my career now, I think I belong to maybe two organizations I used to belong to when I had my talent bureau. I belonged to maybe eight or nine Oof. That was exhausting, that was expensive and exhausting. And then what are some of the others? Some of the others are, you know, think about other people first. Know what it is you want, but make it about them, Because when you help somebody out, they will never forget it. They will never forget it and look at your generosity. David. I mean, we’ve known each other maybe only a few months and you know you very generously offered to let me be on your podcast.
[David] Well, what I’m about is helping people understand, get better at what they’re doing and communication is at the core of everything we are all doing, whether you’re retired or starting a career, the whole spectrum, everything in between your life, our lives, are made up on good communication.
[Patti] That’s right.
[David] Which really gets into your second book More than just talk, which came out in Very good book and it is, it’s, it’s it’s a volume.
[Patti] It is, it is. It’s a volume. It’s very daunting to look at but if you look closely you know I made the type big enough so people could actually read it and not it’s.
[David] It’s written for us seniors that are in the senior print version. You know it’s not that, it’s not that big.
[Patti] it’s pretty big you know in retrospect I could have done it. We had to follow some protocols on where chapters always had to start on the right page and blah blah, and I wanted to leave room for people to journal a little bit. But anyway this book came about because it’s actually I would call it a prequel to the Intentional Networker, because people would read the Intentional Networker and still have more questions about yeah, but what do I do if I get caught with that person who won’t be quiet? Or what do I do if I just don’t know what to say? How do I get myself prepared for a networking or a social function? How do I? This is one of my favorite sections. I don’t know if you read this section. How do I deal with the drainers and downers in my life?
[David] Yes, I was reading the Table, reading the table and I went into that one I’m going like, cause that’s such a big part of a life.
[Patti] It is sadly. You know it’s just. You know it’s it. The world is never easy, but the world is not in a super easy place right now and I don’t know I just think it was. It was fun for me to write that section, just maybe cathartic in my own, because I had to know the answers. And that’s the thing I know. People always introduce me as an expert, but I like to say I’m a very enthusiastic student of the art of communicating with other people. And then therefore I just like to share what I learn.
[David] It’s really exciting as you start looking at all the way through this book. What are the takeaways when someone reads this book? I mean the book More Than Just Talk. There’s so much kind of coaching throughout the book, so I think it’d be great for people to have a conversation. But I would recommend first I always say this If you want to get to know someone, have a meaningful conversation, first read their books. If they’re, I would recommend first I always say this if you want to get to know someone, have a meaningful conversation, first read their books, if they write books, and then have the conversation, because you’d be so much better equipped to go in and make that connection. So read these books and then get connected with them. How do people work with you? I mean how? How do you work with clients?
[Patti] I’m at that age now where I actually don’t do keynotes anymore I just turned one down last weekend but I still do workshops, and I do that in the corporate and conference setting. And why I like workshops is because we actually get to talk about and practice the things that I teach and it’s interactive and it’s fun and I can customize to almost any kind of group. And then I also do coaching. I have a couple of really really bright coaching clients right now who are just trying to be more confident in their communication, whether it’s talking to a room full of people or talking one-on-one, building the relationships that build business. And you know, I wanted to throw out a huge piece of data that many people may already know about, but there’s a big study that was done while still going on at Harvard. It’s been going on for like 80 years. It’s something about the human development study I can’t think of the exact name of it right now but the ultimate source of happiness in a person’s life is the quality of their relationships and their relationships. And then, when it comes to a professional setting, the two most important qualities in any professional setting are warmth and competence, and warmth is that people factor where people f eel at ease around you, they feel they want to be with you, they’re enjoying their battery is not being drained by being with you.
[David] So how does someone accomplish that, no matter what your personality type is? How do you accomplish? Is that? Where you come in, it’s making it more about them, or is it because, at some point in time, they want to know about you? It’s a little too creepy. If they’re trying, all you’re doing is quizzing them about so how do you make that warmth? How do you create warmth?
[Patti] It’s a lot of it’s practice. It’s practice, it’s study, you know, that’s why I wrote these books. It’s watching. If you know people who are really good at this, watch them and watch what they do. Learn from both the mentors who you’re interacting with. If you have mentors and then I consider a lot of people my mentors and they don’t even know it you know, I’ve read a lot of people’s books to write my own books. There are a lot of people that I watch out in the business community. It’s like God, they’re so good, they’re so good and I. What exactly are they doing? well, smiling eye contact, asking good questions, that well, when people say, oh, you know, when you ask a question and someone goes, oh, and then you end up having a nice 15, 20 minute conversation that goes far deeper than the typical, well, tell me about your work and tell me what you do. You know, where did you grow up? When you can get to a conversation that brings up something deeper than the every day, it’s really memorable.
[David] Yeah, and I think it’s how you ask a question, the way you just gave us an example. Tell us about your day. I mean it just sounds shallow, but it’s how you phrase up a question. It sounds like a very interesting. Tell us a little bit about yourself, I mean how did you get to do what you’re doing? I mean, it’s it’s opening the question up where you’re showing authentic interest in them and you’re genuinely interested, so a lot of it has in tonality can come into all this. So, as you’re working with someone and coaching them, what are some of the things that? Where do you start and where could someone go in that communication?
[Patti] Well, obviously it depends on where they are, who they are and where they are and what they want to accomplish. I’m working with a woman now who’s an she’s an art architect at a very established firm. She’s one of the newer architects. They’re trying to, you know, lift her up because she has so much potential. She’s also a mom. She’s bilingual, so English is not her first language. And we’re talking about everything from just everyday confidence in the company, how she deals with her team, how she presents herself at meetings, in the presentations that they do, and we talk about a lot of things that aren’t directly related to those things. And that gets back to. You know, that’s not just my coaching style, where I want to get to know a coaching client and we’re going to talk about things that aren’t 100% on topic but they are and the same goes with networking. Networking questions don’t have to be about work. I mean, I think it’d be fun to challenge people to say go do a networking thing and don’t talk about anything related to work. I mean, it’s not about let’s not talk about football.
[David] It seems counterintuitive, because you’re there to talk about work, I mean. But that’s a really good suggestion because it does get to the point where it opens up yeah, it’s potential for it.
[Patti] I make it 75%. Not about work, because that’s how you get to know people. Here’s a great question what do you do when you’re not working? What does that say about a person? It might be hobbies, it might be well, I always spend time with my family. My wife and I make sure we go and do whatever, you get a three-dimensional picture of that person which tells you a lot about their character, tells you a lot about their interests, which means that you’ll have things to talk about. I’m discovering a lot of my colleagues, especially that are around my age. We’re all painters. We could start our own painting group like yeah, so it’s just fun to know that about people. It gives you something else to bond you know with each other. It’s fine, it’s just fun to know that about people. It gives you something else to bond, you know with each other.
[David] It’s finding common ground other than the work part of it. I mean, we all will do what we do for a period of time.
[Patti] It sounds like an interview. It sounds like an inquisition. It sounds like you know to me. I can spot the person that was either coached by their boss or they took some training course and they’re walking me through a process where they’re going to sell me on something, and I can spot that a mile away.
[David] That’s really interesting. What would be the tip? How would you you had someone who you watched and witnessed that happen how would you pull them aside and coach them Well.
[Patti] I would only do it if they asked me to.
[David] My permission. I’m assuming that the context of that was they were asked.
[Patti] I think I would go back to. Let’s find ways for you to connect with people as people first, as people, and get to know them. Find out things about you know. What are the? What do you think are the three most important things to have in a career? I mean that’s sort of work related, but it’s also tells you about the person . I think I would teach them how to navigate their environment at work and in a networking setting in a way that sounds natural and is not, like I said earlier, a process. I’m not about the process.
[David] I always like stories. Give us a success story Someone that came into your life, that retained you, and what’s behind that.
[Patti] I think all of them, but I’ll tell you one that I thought of, uh, that comes to mind, which I think was a really fun one. I, because of Mark, because of my sweetie, he was really into and he stopped bicycling. Right now he’s probably putting on 40, 50 miles. He was doing triathlons and distance cycling and you know, I thought, well, I’m gonna, I’m gonna get involved in this too, because I used to like to do those things. And so we were on a cycling team together and we would do the MS150, which is a bicycle ride from Houston to Austin that raises money for MS. Okay, so I’m on this team and there’s people on the team from all kinds of corporations HB, Hewlett-packard, Dell, you name it and I’m riding along one day during the MS 150. And one of the gals who’s pretty high up in HEB she’s retired now she rides up to alongside me. She says hey, Patti, do you think you could come speak to our leadership group? And that happened on a couple of occasions in my cycling career, which I don’t really do that anymore. But that’s why guys go golfing, and women too. Business happens on the golf course in a relaxed setting. Yes, yeah.
[David] Yeah, I’m discovering the ability both on the golf course. But now my new passion is pickleball. How can people reach you? How is the best way for people? First of all, get your book, get the books, and we’ll put links to listeners to the books in the show notes.
[Patti] Absolutely, you can and, by the way, you can get my books on Amazon or, if you’re anti-amazon, go on another online retailer. They’re there too in Austin book people. Our independent, carries them as well. How can people reach me? Well, they can go to my website, which is intentionalnetworker.com and David, thank you for not saying International Networker which a lot of people say it’s intentionalnetworkercom, and heck. You can email me, Patti, with an P-A-T-T-I at gmailcom. I mean, I answer questions. I’m happy to accept inquiries of all kinds when it comes to my work, so I would love to hear from you.
[David]Yeah, I encourage you to do so. List ener, I’ve enjoyed my conversations and these books, I kid you not. Patti sent them to me and I opened up both books and started reading immediately. And I just like, I sat down immediately going like oh, this is good. And I started reading all line by line and then started skipping around, like I like to do sometimes. I’ve got to put this down and read cover to cover. There’s so much valuable information.
[Patti] I actually. I’m glad you said that, David, because I actually wrote them to be opened randomly or go through it front to back, if that’s your style, or just pop it open. Look in the index, look in the table of contents. I want them to be a reference guide.
[David] Yeah, it is, and that’s why, listeners, when you go grab, when you get the book I mean, if you’re dealing with something, you could actually open the book and the table of contents will guide you to the part that where you need to be to probably address the issue that you’re facing. Patti, this is so fun, so good to get to meet you and Mark. I can’t wait to talk to Mark. It speaks to inner geek. Communication is what my life is about and I so thoroughly enjoy getting to know you and looking forward to a long and lasting friendship.
[Patti] Yes, you too, David. Thank you!
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Patti DeNucci is a corporate and conference presenter, workshop facilitator, coach, and consultant who works with smart professionals wanting to improve their social skills, confidence, and presence. She’s the author or two award-winning books on these topics, including “The Intentional Networker” and “More Than Just Talk: The Essential Guide for Anyone Who Wants to Enjoy Better Conversations.” When she’s not working out of her home in Austin, Texas, she’s enjoying creating art, being in the outdoors, staying fit, and spending quality time with family and friends.